I don't like reading from a screen whether it's a document on a monitor or an e-book on a Kindle. I also write everything by hand and can't type, but that's beside the point, I need that tactile pleasure of crinkling real paper in my hand when I read. Paper is a good thing. I don't mind them chopping wood, Ma, after all, them trees are God's recyclables. So cut a tree down for me, boys, but make sure you plant one in its place. Green, indeed. I need my paper books, hardbound or paperback. When I'm finished writing a chapter or a short story and my wife has typed it, I like to print it out and read it, not lean in close to the monitor and fumble with the scroll bar.
Kindles are cute and look cool on planes but they have lots of disadvantages. A few examples:
- They're expensive. You're not only buying the book, you're buying a costly container.
- They have batteries that will need replacing and you buy the electricity to charge them, money that could be spent on a frozen daquiry to partake while you read a cheap paperback instead.
- It makes you look like a geek.
- Best -selling authors can't sign them.
- Since you download e-books, everybody and their brother will write and self-publish a book for you to buy, lowering the average quality of literature to even a lower level.
- By the time you buy one the model is obsolete.
- Nothing smells as good as old books lining library shelves. That sweet odor of decaying paper brings out nostalgic yearnings of ,as a child, secretly reading dirty e. e. cummings poems at an isolated desk in the back of the biography section.
- Without paper books what would you fill those shelves with at home?
- You can use children's picture books to level a table leg.
- You can fold back the pages of a paperback like you did at summer camp and make a neat doorstop for your mother.
- You can use the pages for toilet paper in an emergency at the campground.
- You can hollow out the middle and hide money in it.
- You can kill cockroaches with it in the gararge.
Here's what a Kindle looks like after you use it to kill a cockroach:
- You can hide Fifty Shades of Grey underneath the mattress where the kids can't find it and it doesn't shatter after a wild weekend.
- You can throw a book, hardbound or paperback, at a cat or dog without hurting the book or the pet.
- And my favorite: You can animate a car crash on a paper book. Let's see you do this on a Kindle.