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Hemingway's Last Interview

(Interviewed by, Jimmy, a seven-year-old:)

“My mom said that you said writing is hard. I get tired sometimes when I write. Do you get tired?”

“Sometimes I do. We all get tired of doing things we like to do. What do you write about in school?”


“What kind of things? Things is a big subject, Jimmy.”

“I wrote about a smelly bird once.”

“A smelly bird, huh?”


“Okay, I’ll bite. What’d it smell like?”

“Like poop. It was dead.”

“Oh, I see.”

“My mom says you can’t write at all.”

“She said that, huh?”


“Well you tell your mom there’s millions out there who would agree with her. Most days, I think I would agree with her.”

“What’s a drunking sot?”

“You mean a drunken sot.”


“Why do you ask?”

“Cause my mom says you’re a drinking sot.”

“I see. I presume your mother doesn’t want me to sign a book for her.”

“Nope. She says she wouldn’t wipe her butt with your book.”

“Tell me Jimmy, does your mother, by chance, write reviews for the New York Times?”

“I dunno.”

“Well, when you go home, you tell your mother I have the greatest sympathy for her children.”


“Never mind. Any more questions?”

“What’s your boys names?”

“My boys?”


“Jack, Patrick, and Gregory. Why?”

“My mom says your sons hate you cause you’re a drinking sot.”

“I—I—don’t know what to say to that, Jimmy. I really don’t.”

The author wiped his eyes with his shirtsleeve and stood.

“Maybe you better go now, Jimmy.”

“Okay, Mr. Hemingway,” Jimmy said. The large bearded author nudged the young interviewer out the front door.

 Then Hemingway turned away, massaged his forehead, and sighed deeply at the shotgun in the corner of the room.

(Note:Yes, I made this up. Literary licence and all that.)


  1. I'm catching up to all the posts I missed when I was busy leaving you - I mean Florida.

    Miss you!


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