Skip to main content

Translations



These are translations of conversations. The first part is what they actually said, while the translation part is what they actually meant.


Husband and Wife:

Him: Are you going shopping tomorrow?

Translation: I want to play golf.


Her: No, I thought it’d be nice if we spent the day together.

Translation: You want to play golf.


Him: Oh.

Translation: Damn.


Her: I heard there’s a good movie on at the mall.

Translation: Three hours for the movie, then a walk around the mall, then dinner, some place nice for a change.


Him: I told the guys I might be busy.

Translation: I want to play golf.


Her: Good. They can get by without you one time.

Translation: You play every damn Saturday!


Him: Although they did book a tee time for four already.

Translation: I want to play golf.


Her: If you really want to go, then go.

Translation: I know the divorce laws in Florida.


Him: No, that’s okay. I’d rather spend the day with you.

Translation: Maybe I could get the guys to change the tee time to Sunday.




Dog and Master:

Dog: Woof

Translation: I want food and I want to go outside and poop.


Master: How’s my puppy? You hungry, boy? You hungry? Puppy boy hungry?

Translation: Same.


Dog: Woof

Translation: I want food, and I want to go outside and poop, and I want to go without a leash and chase every animal I see.


Master: That’s a good boy. That’s a good boy. You like it when I scratch behind your ears, don’t you boy? Good boy. Good Puppy Wuppy.

Translation: Same.


Dog: Woof

Translation: Oh yes, that’s it. Right there. I love it. God help me, I love it.



Old Man and Young Cashier:


Old Man: I have coupons for some of those items.

Translation: If the store didn’t charge so much, they wouldn’t need coupons.


Young Cashier: Oh, yes, sir. I’ll deduct them at the end.

Translation: You could have told me at the beginning.


Old Man: Put back one of the tuna fish. I’m not sure I have enough money.

Translation: We haven’t had a Social Security cost-of-living increase in four years thanks to those politicians you kids voted in.


Young Cashier: Yes, sir.

Translation: They have a new innovation called credit cards. Check it out with your friends at the home sometime when you get a chance.


Old Man: What’s the damage?

Translation: What are you robbers overcharging me for the groceries?


Young Cashier: Eighteen forty two.

Translation: Ironically, the amount shown on the display screen right in front of you, if you would just look!


Old Man: Why, when I was your age the cashier had to figure out the change by herself. No machine did it for her.

Translation: My generation was smarter.


Young Cashier: Yes, it’s a lot easier nowadays.

Translation: Did they even have money when you were my age?



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nisei

My new novel, published by Black Opal Books:

After the attack on Pearl Harbor, the United States government encouraged all eligible young men to enlist immediately in the fight against its enemies overseas. All eligible young men except Japanese-Americans.Nisei is the story of Hideo Bobby Takahashi, a Hawaiian-born Japanese-American who must overcome prejudice, internment, and the policies of his own government to prove his loyalty to his country.Narrated by Bobby Takahashi and read by his son, Robert, 46 years after Bobby’s death, the story details the young Nisei’s determination to fight honorably for his country and return to the young love he was forced to leave, a girl he cannot have because she is white. Nisei on Amazon

How to Make a Bad Book Trailer on a Limited Budget

The competition is tough out there, baby, with over five million books available on Amazon. So how do you stand out from the minions and get your name to be a household world among the literati? A well-written interesting book helps, but apparently it's all in the marketing. A good book publicist cost six figures, while the bottom of the publicist heap will run you about four thousand for three months of her trying to get you on the Oprah Winfrey Network.
So like most new authors, you handle your own marketing. One tool necessary for promotion is a book trailer. Again, they can cost thousands or as in my case $1.76. I downloaded Microsoft Movie Maker for free and used the $1.76 to buy an Almond Joy candy bar. With the software on my computer and the candy bar in my belly, I put together my own book trailer.
It's a bit premature to release the trailer since the book won't be out till the end of the year and my new website is still in production, but common sense has never st…

NEW AUTHOR WEBSITE

Please visit my new website:  www.jjwhitebooks.com
Play some chess against a computer on the site and listen to some classical music.
Sign up on the site to receive news of new books or events.
I won't sell your e-mail and I won't send you spam. Scout's honor.
I'll also be moving this blog there as soon as I can figure out how visitors can comment on it.
Also, my story The Adventure of the Nine Hole League was published in the Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine #13

JJ