- Do not start writing until you've had two beers.
- Do not write after you've had three beers.
- As long as you are killing your darlings, kill the rest of your crap with them.
- Try to copy anyone's writing style but your own.
- Do not use Microsoft Word's 'Find and Replace' to remove all words ending in LY. (I lost an Elly, a Molly and a French Airport that way.)
- If you get writer's block, add a sex scene.
- If the literary agents say your novel is shallow and pedantic, tell them it's Y.A.
- Chewing your pencil is not writing with passion.
- If you are writing a politically correct novel, use [he or she said] for all your attributions.
- If you want conflict in your writing, ask your spouse to read it.
4 days ago